live for the moment...live for now

well...here are some of my journals from recent days. it might take a while to put some of these clips in because my handwriting is so messy from the bumpy dirt and sand roads in Mozambique and Swaziland. I'll do my best to translate. haha.

ps. a few keys and the space bar are finicky. I'll try my best but bear with me.

11/3/09 Wednesday
listening to : the cranberries
today was mellow and long, but amazing. woke up early to hit the road by 6 am with a 5am breakfast. left camp on time to head into Mozambique from Kruger Park. intense! we saw so many more animals on the way out and at one point even had to patiently wait for a lion to finish sunbathing in the road to keep driving. we got to the border around 1 after changing some rand into mitica (spelling???) and played the waiting game for peoples visas. finally got across and am currently in awe of the lifestyle here. shacks line the road and people are living in complete poverty. trash is everywhere, roads are just dirt paths, people can barely afford clothing...and what they have is all torn and ruined. it's hard to imagine this being real life for so many people.
"this is africa" - quote of the day

12/3/09 Thursday
on the truck again. ("don't call it a bus!" - Janet our GAP tour guide)
never have I seen such beauty in 'poverty' or truly understood the simplicity of real happiness.
maybe I still don't, but I know I'm getting closer.
I talked to a man last night who took so much pride in telling me where he got the lumber for his hut, his shack...his home. he told me where he got the lumber and where the rest of the trees from the group are and how to find them. he explained that when he has children he will use the same trees to make a small hut for them. he explained how he picked the reeds for the thatching and the care he took in construction. "Ten years," he explains in broken English/Portuguese "and still stands."
this man knows happiness. he explained with love and compassion how every home has pigeons living in the rafters (I thought he meant chickens at first...the word is very similar to the Spanish word pollo). he told me of the small bird family he has in his home and how in Mozambique they eat pigeons, but not in the city. "they are family here."

later

oh god. I just got my first glimpse of the beach from the road. it is more beautiful than I could explain. I wish that man were here with me to share this. he has never left the confines of the crowded city.
we take so much for granted and it pollutes us. how can we all walk around with our eyes closed? we'll never be able to turn the tables or trade places with these people, but the least we can do is appreciate all the things we do have and find the beauty in every simple little thing. breathe it in. let it inspire us. happiness makes this world beautiful. relax, breathe, take a few minutes and just look around at everything this world has to offer.
these people have so much to teach/unteach us. the true beauty here is in the hearts and minds of the people as much as it can be in our hearts and minds if we just let it.

rubble everywhere. people are still trying to live in houses that lay in shambles. this is the scarred face of a country so recently torn by war that it still haunts the youngest generation and will continue to. these people don't yet have peace, but they hunger for it and their hope is unstoppable. (edit: at least quite a few that I've met. I've also seen quite a few with hate in their hearts and there is nothing I can do to diminish it.)

they're throwing rocks at our truck. someone must have taken a picture against the advice we received. while it's scary to be on this end of it, I can't even imagine the other side...how hard it must be to have all these 'rich' white tourists looking down on you from their shiny new comfortable bus, flashing their expensive cameras and photographing your poverty for the world to see.
how dare we make ourselves look so careless. I'm embarrassed.
how come it takes an action so drastic to remind us that what we get out of this world is a direct result of what we put in?


15/3/09 Sunday
beauty. horror. fear. hope.
never before have I been a living symbol of the things that people hate.
they drove the whites out of the country a few decades ago and here we are again.
unwanted.

16/3/09 Monday
this is a country where cities still lay in ruins and an unknown amount of mines quietly lay in wait buried somewhere, everywhere, in the ground. we were strictly told to never venture more than one to two meters off the road in undeveloped areas.
we haven't yet stopped anywhere with running water or flushing toilets. usually we just go on the side of the road. sometimes we get lucky and there's a bust right there...sometimes we feel a bit...exposed? electricity is still pretty scarse, but much more common than running water.


******************************************
today. amazing.
we woke up early and headed into a swazi village. all the girls were given sarongs because it is rude to show your legs. I've noticed, however, that topless seems to be acceptable. hmmm. anyways. we got let in the gates and trekked back to the village where we learned to weave, grind food, gather reeds, sing and dance. it was a lot of fun. we learned traditional male/feemale, wife/husband roles, some swazi words and traditions. it was such a great experience. we all brought toys for the children...there are 56 children in the village and 43 are orphans. they all played with balloons, jump ropes, crayons, bubbles and toys to their hearts content and we got to play with them for a bit. I learned how to balance a basket on my head (yikes!) and have personally decided I'm not in the running for swazi woman of the year.
'yabonga' in swazi means thank you by the way.
I can sing a few songs, but can't type them because they're more sounds than words. haha.

today is St. Pattys day, so happy St. Patts.
I'm going to go eat some lunch, maybe go horseback riding and then party a bit with everyone else. =D

oh, and for everyone who knows me pretty well you can agree that I'm pretty absent minded sometimes and manage to lose things VERY easily. here's the current running list:
[[I know you'll appreciate it or at least get a good laugh in]]
-hand painted tapestry
-headlamp (found it 3 days later)
-necklace
-groceries
-adapter plug
-merrell shoes (yep...I know. I left them under my bed at the hostel. now all I have is flip flops. I'll have to buy another pair in Durban.)
-superfeet (in my merrells. as if it wasn't bad eough, right?)
-a book I was reading
-money

so...I'll keep adding on as I lose things. hopefully my passport doesn't decide to run away.

kay. times up. pricy update but hopefully worth it.
ciao!
oh, and I'll be in SA again tomorrow night...so I can use my phone again. yay!
=D
text me! <3